Some People Never Learn

by Simo

History always repeats itself twice: first time as tragedy, second time as farce.

-- Karl Marx

Another crop of self-righteous dumbasses with delusions of cleaning up Furry-dom has arisen, like some foul phoenix from the ashes of the Burned Fur™ Great Internet Furry Flame War: Third Rail Furs. This is a case in point that would prove that at least Marx got something right. The Third Rail Furs have themselves a Manifesto: "Repost these words far and wide!" OK, if you insist.

ARE YOU:

...tired of you and your friends taking a bad rap just for being into anthropomorphic characters or funny animals?

...upset that you can't tell anyone about your inoffensive interest in anthropomorphic characters or funny animals for fear of being taken for a pervert?

...annoyed that a harmless fandom revolving around these things has been hijacked and turned into a byword for idiotic kinksters and their infantile behavior?

...hoping that someone, somewhere will blow the whistle on the antics of the so-called "furry fandom" and turn their stone over?

...THEN JOIN US!

We are named for the deadly "third rail" found in subways because it is alive with 30,000 volts of live current and so are we! Unlike those sorry losers the Burned Furs we won't quit! We won't give up with the job half done! And we aren't 60% bitter twisted losers and Bible-bashing nutbags and alcoholic pinkos and ball-breaking bitches either so we will stay the course no matter what stupid threats get hurled our way.

Who are we? We are - or were - fans of anthropomorphic characters and funny animals. We witnessed first hand the subversion and destruction of what was once a young and vibrant fandom at the hands of people like Merlino and Conway until what we have now is a fetish fandom where people like the original furry fans are in the minority! We have been swamped with immigrants from the Land of Kink! Floods of grubby perverts and fetishist! Every imaginable fetish has been imported into the fandom and been called "furry"!

And any who dare raise their voices or criticize this degradation are condemned as "intolerant" and "haters"! Can you credit it!?

People, they stole our fandom and now we are going to steal it back! Join us! Declare your support! Repost these words far and wide! Take our graphics and post them, print them, make shirts and posters!

Unlike the Burned Furs we don't want to "reclaim" the fandom or "clean it up" or "kick out the perverts" because we all know that sort of stuff doesn't work. Our aim is to turn the shrivelling glare of publicity on to it and reveal for all the world to see the full truth of what it conceals behind the happy facade of waving fursuiters and bunny ears. Oh, you might think you know something about what goes on in the furry fandom, but let us assure you that we know everything and it isn't pretty. We are going to open all the numerous cans of worms we have and let whole armies of cats out of their bags.

Yes, we're anonymous, and we don't care to reveal our names right this moment - because some of you would totally know them. But rely on us, we will unmask ourselves at the right moment, for maximum excitement and drama.

We make no warnings, no ultimatums, we have announced our purpose and intent. Anyone who wishes to offer their support is more than welcome - our email address is on our front page. There is no need for anyone to offer material; as stated, we know everything.

Last updated February 01, 2005

All graphics are freely redistributable

The introduction is ridiculously hysterical in its tone. What these four points boil down to is this: the Third Rail Furs are upset since the public-at-large does not see this interest in anthropomorphic characters and funny animals as being "normal". This has already been addressed elsewhere here. As I have already pointed out: the PaL sees such an interest as being age inappropriate once one has passed the age of twelve, or so. Secondly, you will not be able to "buy off" the PaL by sacrificing your fellow Furries. So when the Third Rail Furs ask, my answer is that I do not allow these things to bother me. The only power that other people have to make me feel uncomfortable over my Furriness is that power which I concede to them. I refuse them this power. If others want to give me "a bad rap" over my interest in anthros and funny animals, then, that is their problem, not mine. Secondly, I have absolutely no fear of being "taken for a pervert" in revealing my interest in this fandom to anyone. If I believed this was something I needed to hide, or live in fear of discovery, or of what others might think, then I wouldn't've gotten involved in the first place. Those to whom I am close enough to the point where I feel the need to reveal my fandom affiliation already are well aware that I am not a pervert. Therefore, it makes no difference. As for others, they have no need to know, and I have no need to proselytize. So my answer to the Third Rail Furs' invitation: "...THEN JOIN US!" is: Thanks but no thanks.

We are named for the deadly "third rail" found in subways because it is alive with 30,000 volts of live current and so are we! Unlike those sorry losers the Burned Furs we won't quit! We won't give up with the job half done! And we aren't 60% bitter twisted losers and Bible-bashing nutbags and alcoholic pinkos and ball-breaking bitches either so we will stay the course no matter what stupid threats get hurled our way.

No, dipshits, it isn't. Third rail voltages usually run between 750VDC to 1200VDC (third rail). "Volts" is a measurement of energy, specifically, Newton - meters per Coulomb. Current is measured in amps (short for Amperes): Coulombs per second. These are two different quantities of electrical measurement. If you're going to use the terminology, then get it right. Otherwise, people might get the wrong idea and figure you for a bunch of retards... Never mind.

30,000V seems more impressive, as does the over usage of exclamation points -- to complete morons, that is. Get a clue, adding lots of !!!!!! does not add to credibility, and is no substitute for coherence. You can refer to the Burned Furs™ as "sorry losers" (and on that point, I agree, but for far different reasons) but the Burned Furs™ had one major advantage over the Third Rail Furs: at least they could write a coherent, meaningful document. What, exactly, are these folks proposing to mitigate the supposed disadvantages of being identified as Furry?.

How, exactly, will reposting this utterly incomprehensible bullshit, or displaying some dumbassed symbols, or printing them (how many copies do I need to make?) or making shirts (make your own GD shirts) or posters, accomplish the goal of reversing nearly seven years' worth of bad publicity? This is an appeal to the superstition of witchcraft, pure and simple. Get a clue dipshits: witchcraft is bullshit; it does not work, it has never worked, it can not work. It's bullshit. Period. End of story.

If you want a graphic to display, then you have my permission to post this one:

No: Third Rail Furs

"Unlike the Burned Furs we don't want to 'reclaim' the fandom or 'clean it up' or 'kick out the perverts' because we all know that sort of stuff doesn't work"

This contradicts what was said just four sentences prior. How does "reclaim the fandom" differ in any meaningful way from "steal it [the fandom] back"?! If they truly believe that these things are a waste of time, then just what the fuck is their purpose? Apparently, it's a secret for you will never figure it out from this "manifesto".

"Our aim is to turn the shrivelling glare of publicity on to it and reveal for all the world to see the full truth of what it conceals behind the happy facade of waving fursuiters and bunny ears."

Think you can do a better job of that than: MTV, CBS, Something Awful, or Portal of Evil? What will such a thing accomplish anyway, other than to make even more mundanes willing to give you and your friends "a bad rap" over your interest in anthropomorphic characters? "We are going to open all the numerous cans of worms we have and let whole armies of cats out of their bags." (Can't you assholes come up with some fresh metaphors?) How is this going to help convince anyone that Furries aren't "perverts"? This proposal is not only counter-productive to the stated raisen de entre of the Third Rail Furs, but the very thing they propose happened a long time ago. Sex 2K, CSI, ER: all of it is yesterday's news.

The unspoken implication may be that the "shrivelling glare of publicity" will destroy Furry-dom, as if that will make all those "deviants" and "perverts" simply go away. If that's the plan, I can assure you that it will not work. You'll go back to drawing those anthros and funny animals, and people are going to take one look and have but one thought: "Aha, Furry!" For those, mundanes "in the know", and certainly the affiliates of other fandoms, the genre has become too closely identified with Furry-dom. They will go right back to associating you and your art with the "skunk-fuckers", the "plush-o-philes", and all the rest of the deviants. If these dipshits actually pull such a thing off, by some miracle, they will find the association even stronger than before. Indeed, don't these folks refer to themselves as the Third Rail Furs? On the one hand, they may desire to destroy Furry-dom, and yet, on the other, they keep the reference. Does this make any sense at all?

Look here you fuck-tards: Furry-dom has already had the "shrivelling glare of publicity" shone upon it. Furry fandom survived that adverse publicity just fine, and is growing. Could you be so ill-informed that you have not heard of all the dumbassed TV shows and the Furry-bash web sites? How could all of that have escaped your attention? That previous "shrivelling glare of publicity" is the reason that you and your friends get "a bad rap" for your interests; why you get taken for pervs by misinformed mundanes. How will more of the same solve the problem? Finally this public infatuation with treating Furry as a dirty joke has just about run its course. For fuck's sake, leave well enough alone! (I can also use exclamation points and emo rhetoric.)

Even S.A. is becoming bored with Furry-bashing; other Furry "hate" sites are beginning to hemorrhage members. Are the Third Rail Furs simply a bunch of angsty morons seeking attention, and doing so in the most unoriginal, unimaginative way possible? Judging from the quality of this "manifesto", I'd say so. Their effort is a complete farce. Santayana was clearly wrong: some people are just too fucking stupid to ever learn from the past. If the Third Rail Furs actually had some brains, or the ability to write coherently, they might even be dangerous.

"But rely on us, we will unmask ourselves at the right moment, for maximum excitement and drama".

I can hardly wait.

Addendum

Article on 3rd Rail Furrs April 13th, 2005

Well, we see that we have come to the attention of the furverts some how. Here is a person named "Simo" venting a rant about us in an article on his strangely named webpage called "FurryDolphin.net".

ATTENTION, SIMO! "Fan-dom" does not is hyphenated!(sic) And dolphins do not have fur! :D Also here are some new words for you: HYPERBOL, EXAGGERATION, and STUPID.

"...We have come to the attention of the furverts some how" Now I may be going way out on a limb on this, and correct me if I'm wrong, but could that possibly have something to do with the fact that you put a web site on the 'Net? Ya think?

The title of this web page is: "The Best Page in Furry-dom". It says so right there on the welcome screen in big orange letters. How could you miss that? "furrydolphin.net" (that's in lower case letters, BTW) is its domain name. Morons.

Thanks for the new words, especially HYPERBOL. Tell me, in which dictionary did you find HYPERBOL, and what does HYPERBOL mean? Enlighten me on this if you'd be so kind.

I have some new words for you: spell checker, English grammar, and fuck-tards.

At Last: The Truth Comes Out

Here is a fascinating entry from LiveJournal:

3rdrailfur ([info]3rdrailfur) wrote,
@ 2005-10-22 02:38:00
Previous Entry Add to memories! Next Entry
Current mood: angry

 

Crush Yiff Destroy
Yes I am back! I am not given up! Big thanks to my good friend Daeve for the cool new layout. NIce work!!

(Note: More bullshit follows here, including an old obsession.)

 

3rdrailfur

Did you get that? "I am back! I am (sic) not given up!" Not "we", but I. He also states in an answer to a question: "I am not Simo either, he slammed me on his web page, also he would be all hyphens every-where :D". Once again, "...he slammed me...", not "us". It looks more and more like the truth just slipped out here. The Third Rail Furs is an "organization" of, at most, two twits: Mr. 3rdrailfur and his pal: "Daeve". There also has been no new content added in eight months, as of this writing.

Just when it looks like the Fur-bashers/Burned Fur wannabes can't get any more pathetic, they, somehow, manage to ratchet it down another few degrees.


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